Most people don't believe elephants can tap dance

I'm good at starting stories. That's the easy part.

My foot was stuck and the train was coming fast...

You want to know what happens after that. At least, I do. But, the hard part is finishing the rest of the story and making it just as interesting as that first sentence. By no means do I declare myself a writer, but I was thinking as I was driving the other day that I would like to be able to write interesting stories. And, I came to the conclusion that I am a better introduction writer than anything else. This could be because of some of the books I had to read in high school and college that weren't very interesting to start. I think it may be the most important part of the book. The intro has to grab my attention or I don't want to read anymore of it. I understand this could be tragic because the rest of the book could be the best thing ever written, but 9 times out of 10 I wouldn't want to read it anyway.

Her pen hit the paper in anticipation of writing something magnanimous, ingenious, even Nobel Prize worthy. She began to write slowly and efficiently. "My name is Sarah Marie Lancaster and I am 5 years old." Brilliant.

I like kids.

"Now, let's talk about digestion.... Ducks poop."
~ Jason, 4 years old

Katy's Quirkiness Challenge

Here's what you do; list five things about yourself that are unusual, anal or quirky. Try to find things people might not already know about you. Comment away and everyone who reads this is automatically tagged. (Sorry this took me so long, Katy.)

1. I always put my shoes on the same way. Left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe. If I don't, its just weird.
2. I don't like it when people pronounce the word jalapeño with out the "nyuh" sound, making it "ha-lah-pee-no".
3. Watching a movie at home by myself is okay, but I wouldn't go to the theater by myself to watch something.
4. When I was in elementary school a kid tried to kiss me on the bus, so I elbowed him in the stomach.
5. I still have a baby tooth.
   

Emma

Its a good movie.
I think I'll watch it.

Superfluous

I don't want to say anything important. I just wanted to have a post where my hideously ugly picture isn't the first thing I see.

It's selfish really.

Maybe I should find a picture that is more pleasant to look at. Hold please....



This guy was awesome.

Jen's Ugly Picture Challenge

I hereby challenge you to find the most unflattering picture you have of yourself and post it on your blog.
The rules are:
1. Post an ugly picture of yourself,
2. Don't post ugly pictures of your unsuspecting friends, and
3. Everyone who comments on the Ugly Picture Post must come up with a clever caption that fits your picture.



I win.

Interesting Observations

There are some things in life that we see but don't really pay attention to and think about. Sometimes these things are quite humorous.

I saw a lady carrying two mink coats walk into a hair salon today. I thought it was ironic.

Maybe, it's one of those "you had to be there" kind of moments.

Not being in school....

.....after 19 years of schooling is weird.

Ms. Something (I used to remember) was my pre-school teacher. My cousin Tiffany was in that class with me. We played duck duck goose and on St. Patrick's Day a leprechaun turned all of our milk green.

Mrs. Johnson was my kindergarten teacher. She was mean. If you got in trouble she whipped out her Sharpie and put dots on your knuckles. I think this is where my need to make everyone happy started. I didn't want the black dots. They scared me.

Mrs. Hanks was my 1st grade teacher. She had a redhead fro. It was awesome. She was nice and I liked her. She had a candy/toy bucket that you got to pick something from when you had been good all day.

Mrs. Bonds was my 2nd grade teacher. She was my best friend's mom. We had globes that asked us questions about the world. It was like computers but in globe form.

Mrs. Taylor was my 3rd grade teacher. She made a girl cry once because the girl was writing in cursive to slowly. She made me cry once after I blacked out and hit a wall.

Mrs. Carter was my 4th grade teacher. My brother had her for 4th grade too. She was nice. We timed multiplication test in her class. I thought they were fun. One time I told on myself for talking across the table at lunch and she made me put my name on the board. I cried.

Mrs. Blair was my 5th grade teacher. She lived across the street from me. We had a 21st century classroom where we played Oregon Trail. She was my favorite teacher.

Woodland Middle School 6th grade - 8th grade. I had a lot of teachers and basically only remember the ones that I didn't like very much like Ms. Hawkins who, in 7th grade, made us memorize all 95 counties and county seats of Tennessee. I think I got a 77 on that test. I might have taken it twice.

Brentwood High School 9th grade - 12th grade. I had a lot more teachers and remember a lot of good ones. Mr. Box taught band. He's my uncle and a good teacher. I was his office assistant and I went in there during my study hall(s) and watched movies for two or more hours. Mrs. Goldfarb was my Spanish II and III teacher. She was short and Jewish. She called me Maria and my friend Ryan, Paco. We were the only two in her Spanish III class that she called by our Spanish names. We would purposely leave off an accent mark when we wrote on the board so she would have to jump to fix it. Paco took a picture once. She was my favorite teacher.

Middle Tennessee State University 13th grade - 18th grade. I had professors. Some were good and some were terrible, like Professor Kerrick. Don't ever take him for English. Mr. Norton grew on me after time. He taught a class called History of Photography. Most people take it twice. I was one of those people. I grew to understand and appreciate him a little more by the time I graduated.

There are more memories than that, but that should give you an idea of what my last 19 years of schooling was like. Joyful, stressful, thrilling, infuriating, fruitful, wasteful, confusing, tearful, happy, etc...

Apology...

...sorry September was lame and had only two posts. (That was to all my loyal readers who pined for my witty stories about air horn hands and youth in Asia.)

Now, get over it. September was crazy. The end.

Now, it's October and I'm no longer working at Quizno's!!! Yaaay! Actually, that happened in September, but I'm writing about it in October.

I'm now working at Cole Haan. It's a fancy smancy shoe, purse, coat store where I make more money. I'm kind of like a used car salesman, except I don't sell used cars and I'm not a man.

This is only my third week of working, but it's going well. Everyone there is very nice. I am a little overwhelmed about everything because a lot of information was thrown at me all at once and then they throw you out of the sales floor and tell you to start swimming. You don't even get little floaties.